


The Torment Of Sebastian Skinner

by Urbenmyth



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Domain Fic - Freeform, Everyone's favorite oblivious plumber, Eyepocalypse, Sebastian Skinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urbenmyth/pseuds/Urbenmyth
Summary: After the Eye's victory, the statement givers are trapped in their horror stories, living them over and over again.Naturally, this works out better for some then for others.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 66





	The Torment Of Sebastian Skinner

**Statement Begins**

Sebastian rings the doorbell of the huge, sprawling house before him. Whoever lives here must be loaded.

He doesn’t remember the last time he went home, or saw his family. He doesn’t remember the last time he saw any of the other plumbers, although he assumes they must be off doing other jobs.

He’s not even entirely sure when he arrived at this borderline mansion. It must have been recently?

Ah well. It’s been a long day.

He still has a job to do.

The woman who answers the door grins broadly, asking him to come inside. He nods. He asks what the problem is, and she says there’s something in the pipes. She has an odd emphasis on that. Sebastian nods.

He walks through the house. She seems...expectant? He doesn’t know what about. He’s just the plumber. He’s just here to fix the pipes.

She’s got some strange decor choices- dolls? Life size dolls? Not his job to judge, of course. So the lady likes dolls. He once worked at a house which just had photos of Elvis all over his living room. There are some weird people out there, but they need their pipes fixed like everyone else.

She pauses, and asks if he’s looked at the dolls. He’s always prided himself on being able to keep up a conversation about anything, even these weird dolls. He nods and says something non-committal. Sure, they’re very nice. Where’s the piping issue?

As he walks through the house, he notices that it looks very similar to the last house he worked on. And the last. And the last…

She looks suddenly excited. “It does, doesn’t it?” Sebastian looks around and shrugs. That’s the issue with modern houses. No soul. All cookie cutter duplicates. The woman makes a strange noise.

Sebastian walks to the kitchen. He thinks he can hear noises from upstairs? Someone talking? He shrugs. The woman tries to bring his attention to a door, or a table, or a bookcase, and he just nods politely. Honestly, while he’d never say it, he was kind of hoping this lady would just let him do his job. He _knows_ she’s rich, she doesn't need to show how expensive her table is to him. He _gets_ it.

Finally he gets to the kitchen after she tries to make him look at some kind of metal rack thing. He calmly unscrews the pipe and looks inside. Yep, congealed fat and...something hard in there? Porcelain, maybe? Well, a blockage is a blockage, you find some odd things in this job. Simple enough to remove. He pulls it out, puts it to dispose of and tells the woman that the problem was fixed.

She looks at him, a fixed smile on her face, and asks if he had any questions. Anything he needs clarifying.

He thinks for a minute, and it dawns on him.

“Oh. Oh god..”

She looks expectantly

“I forgot to take your name! I’m so sorry, I’ve always been very absent…”

She lunges forward and grabs him

“You’re in  _ hell, _ you insufferable moron! The Eye has reshaped the world into an unending nightmare and you’re in _hell_!”

A deep, sinking dread fills Sebastian.

One of the problems with plumbing is you get all sorts of religious crazies who think a handyman is a captive audience. He’d had no shortage of pamphlets, reading materials and full on sermons flung at him. He doesn’t know what “The Eye '' is supposed to be, but he’d heard enough weird religious groups to know where this is going.

“I’m sorry ma’am, I’m happily catholic, if we could please just get back to…”

“Look around the bloody house!”

She gestures wildly around the kitchen, a crazed laugh coming from her throat.

“It’s the fear of stumbling onto a stranger’s secrets! The fear of finding horrific things in a house! Does none of it seem off to you? The roast! Look at the roast!”

Sebastian looks at the roast. It did seem slightly oddly shaped, he couldn’t quite tell what species, but he didn't really eat a lot of meat. Bad for the heart, you see.

“It’s the same goddamn house! You keep looping to the same house, with the same person, with  _ taxidermed human corpses  _ in the living room and a child being cooked in the oven, and you just won’t fucking notice!” She grabs him, pushing her face up close. There is something off about it. Something is wrong with her.

But Sebastian doesn’t particularly care. Firmly, he pushes her away.

“Ma’am. I am not here to take this kind of abuse. I am going to send you my bill, and you can forget about working with any union plumbers after  _ this _ .”

He walks out, the woman’s strangled, confused cries echoing behind him. Probably the first time someone's called her out on her bullshit in her life, with a house like this.

He sits down in his van and sighs. This was the issue with working with the upper middle class. So often they treated blue collar workers like _servants_. Like they could just scream at them and nothing would happen. He takes out his phone to tell his friends about this weirdo. He’d got a lot of entitled pricks in his job, but actually _attacking_ him? What was the world coming to?

Hmm. No signal.

He hadn’t had any signal in a while, now he thought about it. He looks outside. Maybe there was a storm or something?

Nope. It was a clear day, just some birds and some clouds and a giant human eyeball glaring down at him furiously. Just a normal day.

He sat down. It’s probably for the best he got no signal- he has another job after this. He can always tell his friends about this down the pub later.

He finds the house easily enough.

Sebastian rings the doorbell of the huge, sprawling house before him. Whoever lives here must be loaded.

The door opens and a woman stands in the doorway. She looks some combination of despair filled and furious. A bad break up, maybe?

Sebastian doesn't want to get involved in a client’s personal life.

He puts on his most polite smile and, ignoring her growl of barely suppressed anger, asks her where the blockage is.

**Statement Ends.**


End file.
